DESTINY by Killer Bee
DESTINY by Killer Bee
This album is the third and final entry in my DEVOTION trilogy. This last chapter has been a long time in the making. I've been working on this album for about a year and a half since DESIRE dropped, with the majority of it was made during the Black Lives Matter 2020 movement, COVID-19, and the subsequent quarantine/lockdown in 2020. I've felt trapped for a long time, but the feeling intensified this year. I'm grateful to be in a position where I'm not totally isolated or alone and that I have food to eat, whereas millions of people this year have had to suffer lockdown in abusive situations, pressure from being or with food insecurity due to gross negligence by the federal government and society in general. Being in lockdown also changed how I worked on music: with more people at home, I had to shift my production in the box which lead admittedly to more work being produced, but less of my production involving acoustic or electric instruments, including guitar and voice. But necessity is the mother of invention, and scarcity is its cousin.
So I set out to make a body of work that reflects and is a culmination of all I've been feeling during that period of time and since my last major album. Themes and feelings that have been present since DESIRE up until now, as well songs that investigate and contextualize these feelings in the broad sense of destiny and of the future. There are lyrics and samples that reflect the feeling of despair I feel at times. Like there isn't a way out. And if there is, I can't see it.. Feelings of being trapped by a career and passion that I've devoted all my time and poured everything into without the financial stability to live on my own. The feeling of shame I feel of being 27 and still living at home. The feeling of disappointment week after week of being rejected by companies for 4+ years. Of not being able to make it at a major music studio in the city because my skin wasn't thick enough. The one opportunity I had for a steady career in something I'm passionate about and I blew it. I cried back on the train because I let my family, my friends, and myself down. People that have sacrificed everything for me and friends that let me crash on their couch.
And there are melodies and loops littered throughout the record that portray the wrath I feel watching my unarmed Black and Brown brothers/sisters continue to be unjustly murdered by police. Immigrant communities and students being maliciously deported without a second thought to their humanity. To our own collective humanity. Feelings of frustration I felt watching protestors being dispersed with excessive brutality and tear gas or watching journalists' rights being trampled by an authoritarian and militant police force. Frustrated at the state of advanced capitalism that has exacerbated wealth inequality to the point that people need to work two jobs just to put food on the table. Though labor productivity grew 70% from 1979, the hourly pay of workers stagnated, rising only 11.6% over 39 years (https://www.epi.org/productivity-pay-gap/#:~:text=From%201979%20to%202018%2C%20net,(after%20adjusting%20for%20inflation).
Meaning that the vast majority of profits have flowed to and been accrued at the top, eroding the middle class and widening wealth inequality. And people have been brainwashed to blame their fellow Americans, minorities, the poor/most vulnerable or immigrants for it. Rather than a broken and corrupt political and economic system that has benefitted the wealthy and has scraped away social safety net programs, education, arts, and more since the 80s. There are songs in this record that reflect these themes and try to paint a dystopian, yet foreseeable future - how humanity has underestimated the malevolent use of technology in the name of "progress" or profit. Giving up freedom and privacy for convenience. The data that has been mined has been systematically weaponized to spread disinformation in an attempt to divide and sway, to the point of violence and hate. Right now, there are people protesting to stop counting votes in a presidential election fueled by a president campaigning and suing to throwing "certain" votes out. The institutions of democracy are only as strong as its citizens' vigilance. If personal data has become the new oil, ask yourself what the pursuit and subsequent systematic extraction and deployment of oil has done to Earth. Through pollution, plastic waste, and climate change. But I understand now. I understand how people can be brainwashed into giving into hate, authoritarianism, white supremacy, racism, misogyny and more. To the privileged, equality feels like oppression. And when you don't have a support system, you seek any system that supports you.
Even though some of the album revolves around the darker side of the concept of destiny, I wanted it other parts to reflect some hope as well. A brighter future that I hope to one day see. For myself and for society. Even through all of these turbulent emotions, I've had music to anchor me even if my relationship with it has become toxic. I've had fans who've reached out to connect with and ground me. I'm beyond grateful for all the support shown to me these past few years and this is my way of paying them back. There are many people who go through life never finding their purpose or doing what they love. I consider myself to be extremely blessed to be in a position where I wake up in the morning and know exactly what I need to do that day - make music. No matter how down I'm feeling, I always find myself opening Ableton. Like destiny is there to drag me along - whether I want to or not. I'm not sure if I will ever get to the point of financial security with my craft, but for this brief moment in time (and it is brief in the grand cosmic scale) I will continue making music full time until I can't anymore. And maybe that's soon. But maybe that's why it might sound so bright on the surface. It's the first album I feel like I'm turning to the future rather than dwelling in the past. Pursuing new genres and sounds that excite and interest me, even if it's a sound that some new/old listeners may not expect. I think my music is cyclical - it transitions between genres that I'm familiar with to ones that I'm excited by until the point where I'm comfortable and it consolidates into a coherent project (e.g. lofi hip hop -> 'Venus EP' -> 'Otaku'). So ironically, this might be my most cohesive project since 'Otaku'.
It's a strange thought but in any case, I want this album to connect to anyone who has ever felt the same - anxious or stressed about the future. About your "destiny". About the idea of never living up to your potential and the immense weight that that pressure carries. The idea of fear and failing paralyzes, so you don't even try in the first place. All my life I've heard that word - potential. But that's all I've heard. Talent is nothing without refinement. Can baby steps really carry you up a mountain that grows exponentially every day? Like no matter what you do, there is always more to be done the next day so you never achieve a feeling of accomplishment and you're always chasing after perfection. And you can't let go. That fear is crippling. But the truth is that taking that first step and just taking a step every day does progress you towards a goal, no matter how impossible it seems. You have a gravitational effect on the galaxy and on the universe, no matter how small. .000000001% is still not nothing. And therein lies a glimmer of hope for the future. To see the beauty in life where sometimes it feels like there is none. So instead of feeling paralyzed and wallowing in the known, the comfortable, or in the past, I want people to feel optimistic about the future when listening. About your relationships and love - "Will I ever find the right one?" "Will I ever find someone who understood me as they once did?" About finding a job that you enjoy and you feel fulfilled at. Just know that you're not alone. I want this record to generate light where there is none.
The album art is a picture I took on a Canon AE-1 Program in Diver City, Tokyo and I wanted it to serve as a reflection for myself as well as the audience - a reflection of "the spectacle", viewed through screen after screen after screen. The blurring of the commoditization and nature of reality, something that COVID and its subsequent lockdowns forced us to reckon with. For me, it meant returning to nature, taking a lot more hikes and focusing on things that are real and meaningful to me like family and music. Technology has led to the erasure of the physical self in favor of the avatar through the means of social media and more. The hyper-capitalist market and its advertisers constantly try to to convince you that you're not enough - you're not pretty enough, you're not rich enough, you're not athletic enough, etc. etc. so we chase an endless stream of material goods to fulfill a desire that was implanted by the spectacle in the first place. So I wanted to reflect on all of this. On my own physical/digital avatar and especially as an artist in today's world where I feel the pressure to constantly post to drive engagement and attention or risk being lost in a sea of information. And on my own desires for fame and material wealth, as well as serve as a mirror to the listener as well.
But the realization and rejection of the hyper-material/digital superficiality is up to all of us. I don't want the album to feel utopian nor dystopian. It's open ended. It's why it ends with a question and why It's up to us to forge a better future - for everyone. A future worth fighting for. A more merciful one that is inclusive of and supports everyone regardless of gender identification, sexual preferences, immigration status, wealth, religion, etc. And yes, I get the paradox of not being able to tolerate the intolerant, but a society that self regulates perfectly seems utopian to me as technology and its misuse has proven thus far. I agree with the philosophical standing that the tolerance of intolerance leads to the obliteration of tolerance. So it's up to us as a democratic society to reign in hate speech and racism at every turn and to hold people accountable for their actions. And more than anything, I hope that it serves as a fitting end and conclusion to the trilogy and this arc of my artistic journey. I'm excited for what's next.
And like always, a ton of different things influenced the album: Music artists like DJ Rashad, Kaytranada, DJ Quik, Spiral Tribe, Mutant Joe, Seiho, Bladee, Trash Island, Ecco2k, Gemmy, Mumdance, Budgie, Tyler, The Creator, Madlib, slowdive, My Bloody Valentine, Drexciya, AceMo, Jacy, Telefon Tel Aviv, MOMA Ready, 2 AM/FM, Aphex Twin, Burial, blackwinterwells, 8485, Daine, ericdoa, glasear, sebii, glaive, umru, Himera, A.G. Cook, grandee, mixed matches, sewerslvt, Charli XCX, PC Music, SOPHIE, Hanna, Mood Hut, Arca, hook, zephyr, Phoebe Bridgers, Blackpink, Batu, Dip in the Pool, Jean Dawson, Skee Mask, Bobby Konders, moodymann, Virtual Self, Porter Robinson, Madeon, Armor For Sleep, Neck Deep, Thundercat, Dean Blunt, Hype Williams, Yves Tumor, Vegyn, Tim Reaper, Blood Orange, Playboi Carti, Lil Uzi Vert, imnotmelrose, DJ Krush, Skepta, Headie One, Stormzy, Griselda Records, MF Doom (R.I.P.), Roc Marciano, MJ Cole, Conducta, Prescirbe Da Vibe, Gilles Peterson, Grimes, Freeez, Blue Moon Orchestra, Stargaze, Sylvester, Kano, Herbie Hancock, Earth, Wind, & Fire, Parliament, The Isley Brothers, Ronnie Laws, Truth, RSVP, Kleeer, Zapp, Chain Reaction, Soccer Mommy, Tricot, Mitsumi Hasegawa, J Dilla, Nujabes, DJ Shadow, DJ Assault, Light of the World, Sunny Day Real Estate, American Football, Rina Sawayama + more. Composers like Hans Zimmer and Cliff Martinez. Albums like 'Whole Lotta Red' by Playboi Carti, 'Knick Knack' by Mutant Joe, 'BUBBA' by Kaytranada, 'summer death' by Marietta, 'Punisher' by Phoebe Bridgers, 'Pixel Bath' by Jean Dawson, 'Shore' by Fleet Foxes, 'Kick I' by Arca, 'Heaven To A Tortured Mind' by Yves Tumor, 'e' by Ecco2k, '333' & 'Exeter' by Bladee, 'Good Luck' by Bladee & Mechatok, 'I Disagree' by Poppy, 'Fetch the Boltcutters' by Fiona Applegate, 'Eternal Atake' by Lil Uzi Vert, + more. Artists like David Rudnick, Tyler Mitchell, Jean Michel Basquiat, Daniel Arsham, Kenny Scharf, George Condo, Hattie Stewart, Moebius, Obi Agwam, Genesis Tramaine, teffy, Freddy Carasco, Rinko Kawauchi, Moriyama Daido, Motoyoki Daifu, Vampirinho, Andy Gilmore, Ghost Snacks, dyinginkyoto, yuckie, Noah Baker, 8Dalek, tekkons, Mina Hamada, Sumito Owara, + more. Genres like City Pop, Italo-House, Disco, Electro Boogie, Soul, Drum n Bass, Grime, Soul, IDM, Downtempo, Techno, Acid House, House Music, Emo, Pop Punk, UKG, Hyperpop, Funk, City Pop, nUKG + more. Anime and cartoons like Assassination Classroom, Fooly Cooly: Progressive, Ghost in the Shell, Fruits Basket, Kaguya-sama: Love is War (Season 2), Re: Zero (Season 2), Tower of God, Kokoro Connect, Bleach, Fate Zero, Keep Your Hands Off Eizoukan!, Vinland Saga, Blue Spring Ride, Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma, Devilman Crybaby, B.N.A., Powerpuff Girls, Dexters Lab, K.N.D. + more. Designers like Jeremy Scott and Raf Simons, fashion brands like Prada, Dior, and Vivendi, and video games like Jet Set Radio, Borderlands, and Chrono Trigger. Chefs like Padma Lakshmi, Nini Nguyen, Eric Adjepong, Gordon Ramsay, and Grant Achatz. Shows like Top Chef and Great British Bake Off and books like 'Society of the Spectacle' by Guy Debord, 'Surveillance Capitalism' by Shosana Zuboff, "Capital in the 21st Century' by Thomas Piketty, and 'Fire Next Time' by James Baldwin. Movements like Black Lives Matter and the 90s rave scene, things like early 2000s aesthetics, coding, Xcode, Unity, and so so much more that has filtered its way into my work one way or another.
I also wanted to dedicate this album to the lives of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Elijah McClain, Andres Guardado, and George Floyd. Huge thanks to everyone who helped make the album, thanks to my friends and family for always supporting me more than I deserve, to my writer/artist friends for inspiring me, and most importantly thank you to my fans or to anyone who has ever listened to my music. I hope you like it.
Love - Bee
Credits All tracks mixed, mastered, and produced by Killer Bee.
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