DESIRE

About

LNR_[05] by Killer Bee

For Kanon.

LNR_[05] is the fifth installment in my "Late Night Ramen" beat tape series. The title is a nod to bsd.u's 'Late Night Bumps' series. Most of these songs are loosies that won't make it to my upcoming album 'Sagrada' but it's been about three years or so since I dropped my last one and a lot has happened since. I guess I was just struggling with what I wanted this tape to be or what I wanted this series to become. I tried bundling a few of my loosies together throughout that time but none of the tracklists seemed to make sense in my head. I felt like there was a larger story that needed to be told and more time to let unfold. There were times when I thought of scrapping the 'Late Night Ramen' series altogether, fearing I had grown out of what I had initially wanted the series to be or look like. But I realized that's all attachment. There is no mirror. I was attaching myself to the illusion of what I wanted the series to be. With each 'LNR' release I was trying to outdo the previous one so what started off as a fun compilation of random loosies that I wanted to share and didn't think twice about quickly became a series of albums that I took more and more seriously, with each increasing my expectations and diverting from its original intention.

As I grew as a songwriter, I started to produced less demos because I was taking my time with songwriting and more songs started to become album worthy in my eyes or at least not 'right' for a 'LNR' release. I had to take a step back and remind myself of what I wanted the series to be: A platform for me to experiment with new and unexpected sounds. So in that same vein, I wanted to step outside of content and look at form itself. I was listening to a lot of avant-garde music like John Cage and have always admired how he didn't have any boundaries on what he considered music, constantly pushing the definition of music in both form and sound. I also appreciated the Zen Buddhist nature of his pieces, many of which force you to sit in silence and be present (whether you like it or not). Many of the songs on this album continue my recent obsession with this concept and that found on The Beatles' 'White Album', finding perfection in the flawed, being present and capturing the magic of first intention and pursuing a sketch-like attitude towards my music. It's hard for me to distinguish the line between minimalism and sloth but I'm trying to become better at listening to my gut and trusting the process..which is very difficult for a perfectionist like me.

Some who are familiar with my 'Late Night Ramen' series may have also noticed that this one is twice the length of the typical 'LNR' tape and there is a reason for that: as I continue to experiment with musical structure, form, and the concept of curation, I wanted to push the boundaries on the typical conversation between listener and artist. Namely, turning the tables and allowing the listener to dictate what form they want the album to take- both in content and structure. Further exploring my fascination with the Zen Buddhist concept of non duality, each download of 'LNR_[05]' will come with a set of instructions (see instructions.pdf) encouraging listeners to pick and choose only 10 of its songs to create their 'version' of the album while at the same time allowing it to become the canonical version of the album.

Listeners are encouraged to use their favorite streaming service or media library to edit the album and re-order the tracklist how they see fit, all while naming it something unique:

LNR_[05] or 'The Life of A [your spirit animal] In [your favorite temperate season]'

In essence, each listener's version becomes the true version of the album, dissolving boundaries and embracing the concept of non duality since each version is and is not the actual album. It only becomes the album when the listener interacts with and creates it. Its formless nature makes it unreviewable as well, a tongue in cheek jab towards the relationship between curator/critic and artist as well. It rebalances the distribution of power between the three participants: artist, critic, and listener. The listener is taking power away from the artist (me) by essentially dictating the tracklist and renaming it how they see fit, the artist is taking power away from the critic by creating a formless body of work only allowing to review 'their' or someone else's version of the album, and the critic/curator continues to take power away from both artist and fan, albeit in a different format: away from certain fans who allow their taste to be influenced by curators and critics and away from the artist as the right/wrong critic can create or destroy careers. So the first 10 tracks is 'my' version of it:

LNR_[05] or 'The Life of A Dog In Autumn': 1. july 7th 2. [ao]zul 3. hope [that im the same] 4. alwaysbtheree 5. can't U see the light? 6. immigrant children & the (advanced) capitalist machine that swallowed them whole 7. rich girl 8. [u]kuthula 9. astuwiku 10. ผัดขี้เมา [pad kee mao]

Finally, I'm sorry I've been kind of M.I.A. this year..I spent the latter half of last year devoting myself to finding a job and I finally did. I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity but it has become increasingly difficult to find the energy to work on music after working all day. But I think I'm just kind of new at this and I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to find balance.. So although my output may slow down a bit, just know I'm still working on music all the time behind the scenes. I probably won't draw up the list of influences for this album but I plan to get more in depth in the letter for 'Sagrada' since there will be a lot of crossover in terms of inspiration. Thank you to my family who has always supported me, shouts to Manuel for coming through on the solo on track 1 and poetparagraph killing his verse on track 14, thanks to everyone who helped make this album and finally thanks to anyone who has ever listened to my music. It's all 4 u.

Love —

Bee

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Liner Notes

Credits All tracks mixed, mastered, and produced by Killer Bee. Track 1 - Guitar solo by Manuel Alvarez. All other instruments played by Killer Bee. Creative direction by Killer Bee.

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