Album artwork featuring my grandpa Jorge and me at a Yankees game in the 1990s.
About
LNR_[03] is the third installment in my "Late Night Ramen" beat tape series. The title is a nod to bsd.u's 'Late Night Bumps' series. This album means a lot to me because it is dedicated to my grandfather Jorge who passed away last November. It's been almost a year now and I wanted to release it on the day he died - 11/7. The number seven has always been important to me because I'm actually the 7th. I wanted to release the album on the day he died so he could be reincarnated in a sense as something eternal - music. If I make a classic, he'll live in our memories forever since he's on the cover of the album. So I decided to make this a full fledged album unlike the other LNRs by drawing up liner notes and sample information because I wanted to do something special in his memory, as well as the significance that the number 3 has in my life.
After he passed, I became fascinated with the impermanence of being. I researched things like destiny and astrology, tarot cards, and numerology. I re-read "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Kundera. I tried to investigate the meaning of death in different contexts, including Zen Buddhism, and find a way to incorporate it into the music. I ended up typing in my information online and found out that my life path number is 3, and the number has become very important to me as of late. I also found out that my zodiac sign Scorpio is affiliated with the death card in a tarot deck. I'm still trying to find out what this all means, if it even means anything.
And of course this album was inspired by a ton of other things: Anime (Darling in the Franxx, Saint Seiya, Tsurezure Children, Kimi no Todoke, Seven Deadly Sins, My Hero Academia, Erased), TV Shows (Parks & Rec, The OC, Futurama, Rick & Morty), genres (Future Bass, Lofi HipHop, Deep House, UK Garage, Acid House, Lofi House, EDM, Indie Rock), fashion houses like CDG, Prada, and Chanel, artists like Ross From Friends, Burial, Tim Maia, 88 Rising, Yumi Zouma, Ella Mai, Giggs, Lil Uzi Vert, Birocratic, Toshifumi Hinata, A$AP Rocky, Mall Grab, bsd.u, SwuM, Tomppabeats, Shamana, T.I., UGK, James Clarke, Rico Nasty, Jamie XX, Knxwledge, J Dilla, Frank Ocean, Larry Heard, Lil Wayne, SOPHIE, Men I Trust, Carseat Headrest, Playboi Carti, and tons more artists have influenced me and filtered their way onto this album.
Finally I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this process, especially my family. Shouts to Melrose for linking up just in time and killing the feature. Shouts to Ben and Jeff for always supporting, and finally thank you to my fans. You guys reaching out and telling me you rock with my music/have it helped you through rough times is the reason I do this. Thank you so much, I hope you like it <3
- Bee
Notes: A nod to PND's track with TM88 who are both big inspirations of mine. I became really fascinated with numerology while creating this album, especially with repeating digits. The number 888 is associated with positive change, especially during hard times so I wanted to put that energy out there in hopes that it comes to fruition. I also wanted to kind of kickstart that feeling in the listener's head and have them keep an eye out for that number independently. Besides that, I kind of wanted to mimic an actual sonic house party by including a lot of really samples from different artists and blending various genres together since parties tend to bring people together. I also wanted to put that energy out there and throw a party one day in my dream house with Tyler, Rico nasty, 808 Mafia etc. lmao
Notes: In the same vein as the album, just investigating and doing research about zodiac signs. The most tumultous and intense relationship I've had was with a Gemini. Born in the summer and my favorite season is the fall/winter so it's in line with my obsession of dichotomy. "Opposites attract" type thing. Reminds me of the Quincy documentary where he would always ask "what's your sign?" He's the goat. It also samples the 'Atlanta' episode "Helen" where Van and Earn have an argument about the meaning of their relationship and what they want for the future. I sampled it because it reminds me of my own fear of commitment and labeling certain things. There is also Gemini symbol on the poster CLQQNG designed, and the theme harkens back to the title of my own personality/dichotomy. It represents the two sides inside of me constantly fighting each other - the intellectual and the artist. The want to explore different genres but the fear of losing my fans. And in general, being in touch with both sides of my masculine/feminine side. I have an appreciation for high fashion and really flamboyant clothing and glitter, but at the same time love to fish and play sports. I'm sure other people can relate - being primarily raised in an all female household has put me in conflict with my own identity at times but these are all themes that I like to explore in my music.
3. 🔮 (Crystal Ball Emoji)
Contains elements of "Buonanotte (Good Night)" by Akiko Shikata.
Notes: I wanted to include this song and "HER" on the album because I wanted to make it a sort of anthology/retrospective of my work. These two songs have never really found a home on any of my tapes since it was kind of in between projects when I was first starting out so I thought it would be the perfect project include them in something special. This song means a lot to me. I made it for a muse a few years ago, it was originally titled "I Should Have Kissed You When I was 13." I named it that because we actually dated for a brief time in 7th grade and I took her to the movies with a group of friends. I remember sitting there awkwardly looking over and debating whether I should make a move or not. I wanted to so badly, but I chickened out. I can still see the soft blue glow of the movie screen on her face looking up at the screen. That memory is so vivid.. I just wanted to make a song that captured that feeling.
Notes: This track is inspired by genres like 90s Acid House, UK Garage, and Lofi House. Shout out to Mall Grab, Ross From Friends, and the OG Larry Heard. The main vocal sample is from Splice and I liked the lyrics - "Oh I still think of you". It's simple but it captures something that I still deal with all the time. The feeling of waking up from a dream of a past loved one and the immediate emptiness it brings. I wanted to capture that dream-like feeling in this track. I named it after the fashion brand CDG so shouts to Rei Kawakubo, she's a genius. Big thanks to my sister for providing additional vox in the song, you can hear it through a vocoder after the first drop. The monologue is sampled from an anime called 'Kimi no Todoke' which is a romance/slice of life that's pretty trill. The specific scene is her confession to her crush and kind of just ties into the dream-like feeling of the song and I wanted to blur the line between dreams/reality where someone has the courage to tell their crush how they feel without fear of rejection - a feat that many struggle with.
5. HER
Contains elements of "Acura Integurl" by Frank Ocean.
Notes: Frank is the goat. I just wanted to slow this song down and add drums to it. The beginning has a coffeeshop ambience because I wanted to visualize it being played in a college coffeeshop one day. I also like his lyrics exploring the toll fame takes on a relationship and the insecurity it brings.
6. EVISU (feat. imnotmelrose)
Lyrics:
Verse (2x)
Girl we dont go together
We better alone
What is the point if we dont get along
Came to me for some closure
Whats wrong?
Listen closely
"Get gone"
Do you wanna hear me say somethin good?
You know i would but this the wrong song
Get out your feelings
Get out your feelings
Chorus (8x)
Get out your feelings
Never show feelings
Verse
Girl we dont go together
We better alone
What is the point if we dont get along
Came to me for some closure
Whats wrong?
Listen closely
"Get gone"
Do you wanna hear me say somethin good?
You know i would but this the wrong song
I cannot save you
I cannot save you
Bridge
I cannot save you
I did not play you
I was in my Balmains
You was in Evisu
Long sex in london
Very nice to meet you
Bisco beat it up one time then he leave you
Bisco beat it up nine times then he leave you
Bisco beat it up red times then he leave you
Bisco beat it up facetime then he leave you
Notes:
Melrose: "The song circles around the idea that one shouldn't let a failed relationship or connection of love to the heart. Love is personal though, so the idea is conflicting in itself."
Killer Bee: Jumping off that point, I really wanted to let Melrose take over the song. I trust his artistic vision, he's a genius. I like the theme/idea explored in the song, the thought of two people wanting to be together but it's just a toxic relationship and they are better off alone. Definitely hits home. This was the last song to come together because I wanted to follow up "dye" off my previous LNR tape so big shouts to Melrose for coming through and blessing the track.
7. DARK MAGICIAN GIRL
Contains elements of: "Differences" by Ginuwine. 'La Grande Bellezza' by Paolo Sorrentino. Contains an interpolation from "France (Grand Boulevards)" by Yumi Zouma.
Notes: You're playing yourself if DMG wasn't your first waifu when Yu-Gi-Oh first came out lmao jk 🤔🤔 Ginuwine is a legend though and "Differences" is my favorite song by him. I wrote this for the same girl I talk about on track 9 because the lyrics resonated with me - "My whole life has changed" & "Were that special one". When I saw her it felt like my life changed and I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time, but there was nothing there. So it's about having unrealistic expectations toward a crush. I often ascribe all of my hopes and dreams onto someone, hoping that I can fix them when in reality I just wanted them to fix me. It's a toxic state of mind and I think that's where the idea of Dark Magician Girl comes into play. The person that I'm placing all of this misguided love towards is a fantasy and she's not going to save me. That's something that I have to work on myself. That's why I named it DaRk Magician Girl = DRM Girl.
8. EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE_KMSS_PEGASUS FREESTYLE
Everything Must Change contains elements of: "At Your Best (You Are Love)" by Frank Ocean. "Tha Carter Interview" with Lil Wayne. KMSS contains elements of: "Pais E Filhos" by Tim Maia. "Fire in the Booth - Part 3" by Giggs on BBC Radio. Pegasus Freestyle contains elements of 'Can't Buy Me Love' by Steve Rash. "Boo'd Up" by Ella Mai for 88 Rising. Contains an interpolation of: "Boo'd Up" by Ella Mai.
Notes: I named it "everything must change" to kind of speak it into fruition. I'm just tired, man.. I felt stuck and just needed change. I needed something good to happen. It relates back to the first explanation for "HOUSE PARTY" where 888 is a number that represents change. Frank Ocean is one of my favorite artists and I thought his Aaliyah cover was beautiful. I like that line - "tell me what it is" - as if speaking to someone who has a secret or asking the love of your life what they need. I split the audio into two channels as the song progresses to help visualize the dichotomy I feel. How I feel being torn apart by my intellectual/materialistic side and my spiritual/artistic side. As it progresses the audio sounds shreded/torn in two.
KMSS = Kate Moss Supreme Shirt. Shoutout Giggs, shout out Charlie Sloth, shoutout London. Swear the UK is my second home. Wanted to pay homage to all my British homies. Shoutout Brazil and Tim Maia too. I liked the idea of combining these different cultures and music styles together as they're so different.
The "Pegasus" name is in line with the esoteric/zodiac feel of the album. It is also a reference to the anime 'Saint Seiya.' The track is inspired by footwork and UK garage beats. I wanted to flip "boo'd up" but just ended up playing it on the keys and adding my own spin to the rhythm by freestyling over it with a synth lead. I also included a scene from "Can't Buy Me Love", a cheesy 80s movie about a nerd being taught how to be "cool", and there's this really uncomfortable scene where he is making out with a girl in the bathroom and she is kind of pulling away when he tries to go further but I guess he ends up seducing her with a poem. I included it as a nod to the #MeToo movement and as a male artist I wanted to use my platform to put all of this aggresive and inappropriate male sexual behavior towards women on blast, especially shining a light on rape culture in media since the 1980s (and further back, I was just referencing the movie) which has persisted even today regarding Dr. Ford's testimony against Brett Kavanaugh.
This track is overall a nod to J Dilla though. I wanted to make three short, highly creative bursts or ideas. Dilla was the master of that. Just honing in on one simple idea or phrase of a sample and working his way around it to make it compelling. He was a genius. RIP.
9. MIMI (SPENDING THE SUMMER WITH U)
Contains elements of: "Shinsou No Reijou" by Satoru Kosaki. 'Tsurezure Children' by Toshiya Wakabayashi.
Notes: This song is about a girl I met up with in the summer. She kind of became my muse for this album. Her lips curl when she smiles. We saw a Kubrick flick in the East Village and I told her all about my fears. Can I live up to my potential? She's a brilliant artist. I used to go to college with her but we never really talked. I wanted this song to represent a daydream I had - a fantasy. Of falling in love and having a summer romance. Walking through Union Square on a cool day. I wanted it to sound like how I felt when I was with her - bright. It felt like basking in the sun.
Notes: The title is based off my favorite Taking Back Sunday album. I sampled "Darling in the Franxx" which is a dope anime. Shout out studio Trigger and A-1 pictures. I loved the symbolism in the show, the dichotomy between male and female, and the questions it raises. Specifically, I sampled a conversation that Zero-Two has with Hiro towards the end of the series:
Zero Two: "I was basically a monster. But you? I want you to live as a human. That's why I can't be with you."
Hiro: "We promised we'd always be together."
Zero Two: "Stay away. "I'm fine by myself."
Hiro: "Liar. If you really are then why is your last page left blank? Don't fly off alone. Let me stay with you. Let's rewrite that's story's ending together."
Zero Two: "Darling.."
I thought it was a poignant way of starting the last song on the album. The scene is heartbreaking and I identify with Zero Two..Sometimes I feel like the monster she is describing - that I'm better off alone. I ruin everything. My trust issues won't let me get close to anyone and I hurt everyone I love..But in the end maybe there is hope. A hope to rewrite my story.
