'Goodbye, Halcyon Days' Art Book

In Stock

GHD serves as the physical component to my 2019 release 'DESIRE'. It is a 200-page perfect bound magazine/photo book, featuring various photos, memes, ideas, screencaps, etc. that I've collected for the past two years. The bulk of the book are photos I took on 2019 trip to Japan with my best friends which inspired the album greatly. It also features exclusive never before seen demo artwork I designed as well as past poems I've written. Also wanted to use it as a showcase of how talented my fans/friends are so it features fan/friend submitted art so big shouts to everyone who submitted.

Printed on premium 100# Text Paper with a UV High Gloss Cover. Measures 8.5" x 11" x .51". Only 15 copies made, all will be signed. Free shipping in the US. 

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DESIRE is the second album in my DEVOTION trilogy. I've been working on it for close to 3 years now and it has gone through so many revisions in that time. If you had read my other letters, I trashed the concept I had for this album in 2017 and released half of it in the form of LNR_[02]. It didn't live up to my expectations at the time. I've always struggled with self-acceptance and confidence issues and it was at an all time low for me at that point. This album has been weighing on my shoulders for all of those 2 1/2 years. It hung over me like a dark cloud because every time I thought about it or spoke about it, I treated it like it was the one that was going to blow me up. "This time for sure.." "It'll definitely get me there.." All toxic thoughts. Thoughts I couldn't even view as toxic because I had lost myself in my work and expectations. So the album is a story of self-hate and of self-growth. A reflection of self-doubt and dealing with all of the negative emotions that have come with the disappointment I have been feeling for the past two years. A battle against the feeling of always coming up short and an introspective study on my obsession with a past I can't change and the fear of a future I don't know.

The album reflects on the nature of desire and the Zen Buddhist principle of how attachment is the root of all suffering, especially when it comes to personal goals and past relationships. It deals with sexual desire, career desire, materialistic desire, emotional desire, and a wide range of other desires. I use my music to confront my own selfish desires and the dichotomy it carries in everyday life. I also investigate the theme of desire in the context of my own religious faith, not only of Zen, but confronting and challenging Christian themes and ideas which are woven throughout the record. The struggle with my own dichotomy of striving to be humble, yet wanting to be best/the center of attention (when it comes to my music). Striving to be non-materialistic, yet wanting to buy nearly every VST and synthesizer I come across or wanting to buy Balenciaga or CDG clothing. Striving to be saintly yet embody all of the seven sins as I am so jealous, proud, lustful, etc. towards so many things. Alan Watts said that Christianity has made guilt a virtue, and whatever your thoughts of Alan Watts (i.e. entertainer vs philosopher) I think it's an interesting point. The guilt I feel for wanting all of these things when I was raised Christian extends itself into so many other aspects of my life. Aspects that I can't speak about at the moment out of respect for personal and familial relationships. But I guess all of this is just the nature of being human.

I know the album is messy and there are like five different genres running throughout it but I wanted it to be representative of the information era we live in. The Internet has erased the lines between genres and I wanted to showcase that. A long time ago, I wanted to split off my different music personalities into different monikers: one for my lofi work (kira hachi), one for my electronic/future work (mine.), one for my indie rock work, etc. etc. and maybe I will do it further down the road but first I wanted to establish my sound. As imperfect and varied as it is. I was afraid of my voice. Both spiritually and literally. This album reflects me finding my voice in my music and treating as I would a synthesizer or new instrument I just picked up. I know my voice is trash so forgive me but hopefully the autotune softens the blow a little bit, and in general singing the lyrics I wrote on Purity, EOS, and GOH was a cathartic act and something I knew that I had to do. I had to prove to myself that I had the confidence to sing my own lyrics again.

One of the biggest inspirations for the album was my trip to Japan with my friends. It was a dream come true and I'm infinitely grateful for the opportunity to go. Learning about the culture and tasting the cuisine was incredible. Hiking through Fushimi Inari and wandering through teamLab served as the foundation of the album's aesthetic. I brought my Tascam DR-05 with me too so a lot of the foley noises I recorded in various streets and shops are actually littered throughout the album. The album cover was shot by my friend Tanner on my iphone in front of the Gundam Unicorn Statue in Diver City. It may have not been super inventive, but the photo just meant a lot to me when I saw it. The original cover I had planned was a little more reflective of the album's central themes so I'll probably re-shoot it for v2..

Of course a lot of other things influenced this record as well. Music artists (Jamie XX, Erykah Badu, Jay Alpha, Lovibe, Cosmo Pyke, Mount Eerie, Drwn., Thundercat, Flying Lotus, Sleepy Eyes, Migos, Drake, Wu Tang, Future, Odd Future, Tyler The Creator, DEAN, Jang Yoon Ju, Crush, Kaytranada, Kendrick Lamar, Playboi Carti, Lil Uzi Vert, Lovewave, Amerie, Hatsune Miku, Tuamie, clipping., The Smiths, Cassie, Robert Glasper, John Coltrane, Brand New, Charles Earland, NxxxxxS, Louis Culture, yiigaa, Ledisi, Yusef Lateef, Booba, Aaliyah, Frank Ocean, Nottz, The Beatles, Larry Young, Porter Robinson, Timbaland, Yung Hurn, Umru, PC Music, 100 gecs, Ricky Eat Acid, Slim Thug, Brian Wilson, Sam Gellaitry, ASAP Ferg, Pimp C, Three Six Mafia, Melrose, Hiroshi Sato, Kool Kollie, Hiromasa Suzuki, New Order, Bobbi Humphrey, Yung Sherman, Yung Gud, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Ross From Friends, Mallgrab, Clams Casino, Hiroshi yoshimura, King Krule, NERD, Metro Boomin, Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Sufjan Stevens, Soccer Mommy, Jpeg Mafia, Burial, Instupendo, Snail Mail, Beach House, LLLL, Meishi Smile, Prince, Blink 182, Cute Is What We Aim For, Larry Heard, Hans Zimmer, Kate Bush, Joy Division, American Football, Jordy, Pandi, Gesaffelstein, Young Thug), Anime (Orange, Anohana, Clannad, My Hero Academia, Little Witch Academia, Toradora!, Tsuredure Children, Tsukigakirei, erased, reLife, Your Lie In April, Konosuba 2, Darling in the Franxx, Violet Evergarden, Seven Deadly Sins, Hunter x Hunter, Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai, The Promised Neverland, Love Is War, Perfect Blue, Mob Psycho II, Fruits Basket, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Demon Slayer, Boruto NG), TV shows (Star Wars Clone Wars, Skins, FLCL, The OC, Seinfeld, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Legion FX, The Simpsons, Hot Ones, Chefs Table, Twin Peaks, Master of None, Game of Thrones, Smallville, Stranger Things, Futurama, Great British Baking Show), Movies (La La Land, Whiplash, Moonrise Kingdom, Kimi no Na Wa, Mulholland Drive, The Holy Mountain, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Thor Ragnarok, Suspiria, Bladerunner 2049, Baby Driver), Genres (Funk, Jazz Fusion, Ambient, Glitch Pop, House, Future, Houston/Memphis Rap, Lofi House), Artists (Nobumichi Asai, Postures by Bloc Studios, Steve Harrington, Zach Lieberman, Julian Klincewicz, Grace Ahlbom, Ruff Mercy, Parallel Teeth, Timothy Curtis, Takashi Murakami, Johfra Bosschart), Directors (David Lynch, Stanley Kubrick, Alejandro Jodorowsky), Fashion houses (CDG, Kith, Kaws, Balmain, Balenciaga, Off White, Chanel), Designers (Rye Decker, Virgil Abloh, Rei Kawakubo, Issey Miyake), and authors like Haruki Murakami, J.D. Salinger, and George Saunders.

It's weird, I feel like now that I'm finally here I could write dozens of pages about this album but honestly I think just listening to the music and reading the liner notes with it will give the listener much more clarity than any of my rambling can lmao. So finally I just want to thank everyone who helped inspire me and make the album. Thank you to my family who has always supported me and to my close friends. Shouts to yiigaa and Louis Culture for killing the features, shouts to Ben for letting me bounce ideas off him, shouts to Steve, Rob, and Russ for always being supportive and inspiring me with their work, shouts to Aidan for putting in the work in the community (shout out reddit.com/r/prodbykillerbee) and thanks to everyone who has ever reached out about my music. Finally, thanks to all my fans, you're the reason I do this. I'm psyched this album is out, this feels like a dream. I hope the album does too <3

- Bee

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